Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Deep Yearning

Have you ever felt like you were meant for something more than what you are doing? Like you have a gift or talent that desires to be nurtured to it's full potential?

Lately I have been very restless. Like I can't sit still because I just know I need to be doing something different. This all started because of a cupcake bakery near my house I just found out is for sale. Of course the last few days I can't stop thinking about it. And then there's my mother-in-law constantly telling me about her friends who want to pay me to make meal plans for them. And of course the personal training comes into play with friends and family. Basically, I have this whirlwind of thoughts in my head as I am dreaming about the numerous possibilities.

I have tried to think of the things that have made me most happy and here's what comes to mind: first and foremost is being a wife. There is not a single role I have had in my life that has given me more satisfaction than being the wife of my wonderful husband! Taking care of Chris' needs and finding ways to constantly make him feel loved is by far my favorite role. My desire to nurture has been in me since I was a little girl and I've always known I wanted to be a wife and mother. Secondly, helping others acheive health and fitness goals. I love that friends, family and others who are aware of my degree come to me for advice about exercise, nutrition and their general health! Last year I helped my Mom lose 30 lbs and it was such a great feeling to see how good she felt and to know that I helped her do that! And the last thing that comes to my mind is serving people through food. I get so much joy out of cooking for others, grocery shopping, finding healthy alternatives to recipes and having people over for meals.

So, where does that leave me? Several peole have told me to just do it! Just make some business cards and train or do meal planning etc., but that just seems so scary to me. I mean, don't you need a plan? Experience? The planner inside me tells me to make sure there is stability.

I fear that if the planner wins, I will be stuck at a job just because it pays the bills and I would never be okay with that! I have always been restless when I am not challenged and utilizing my strengths. Everyone who really knows me knows that I am incredibly passsionate about things I love. I should be doing something I am passionate about!

I'm sorry this post is so long and truly I am talking to myself here, but I just can't stand to not be doing something I was meant for. We were all made with a unique purpose and design and I believe we truly feel His pleasure when we are fulfilling that in our lives.


KPE said...

Amen! I will definitely be praying for you!

Anonymous said...

I think if you need to ask yourself, is this right? Then you know you are heading in the right direction. I think by posting this you are trying to look for other opinions on the subject to see if this is something that will be worth it for you and your family. Can I make it happen? Can this really help us be financially stable? What will this do for my marriage and future family? Those are all great questions, but you will never know the answer unless you go for it. Do you want to deal with the what ifs later? What if I had done it and it was a huge success? What if I had done it and we were financially stable? What if it made my marriage stronger and more secure for the future? What if it doesn't work, can I just go back to doing the 7 to 3 thing? There is a lot to consider, but being the planner that you are I'm sure you would be wonderful at it. Having the wonderful supportive husband helps as well. Pray about it and really talk things through. I'm sure whatever you decide will be the right choice for you. I'm glad to see that things are going so well for you and Chris. I look forward the the awesome blogs you post. Happy Anniversary Month!!! I can't believe it has almost been a year.. Give our love to everyone.. Love you.. Theresa

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